NOT TO STAR T OF F STRONG . . .
BUT , AS YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTEN SOME HORRIBLE NEWS 2 DAYS AGO. YOU WERE THE 3RD PER SON TO KNOW. ( I ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATED ON TELLING YOU . . .. AS I ALWAYS DO WITH MY TROUBLES, BUT I GUESSED YOU WOULD BE UPSET IF I DID NOT TELL YOU AS WELL . .)
AND , IT'S QUITE ANNOYING.
MY HORMONES ARE RAGING.
AND JEEZUS , I'M IN PHYSICAL PAIN THIS TIME.
I HAVE TO KILL IT WITH A PILL.
ON TOP OF MY BRAIN AND HEART BEING HEAVILY TRAUMATIZED FOR NEARLY A YEAR , , THIS SITUATION IS SO DUMB AND I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO END .
I NO TI CE THAT I HAVE BEE N SAY I N G THINGS LIKE THIS MORE THE SE DAYS, .
BUT I PROM I SE , , MY INTENTONS IS NOT TO BE OVER - - D R A M A T I C .
AND HONESTLY , CAN YOU REA L L Y BLAME ME FOR FEELING LIKE THIS ?
I'M BORDERLINE HYSTERICAL . BUT KEEPING COOL POSSIBLE.
I HOPE YOU CAN SEE MY EFFORTS...
USUALLY,TYPICALLY,AND MOSTLY IN MY PAST EXPERIENCE(S), , , ,
THIS FEELING I HAVE OF WANTING TO DISAPPEA - NO ONE EVER TAKES ME TO O SERIOUSLY.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT RECEIVED WELL.
BUT , I WO U L DN'T SA Y IT IF IT WASNT TRUE.
I JUST, I CAN'T EVEN PRETEND ANYMORE.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW AT SOME POINT -
HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR YOU.
BUT I ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW , , THERE IS A WHOLE OTHER ENTITY WHICH TROUBLES ME EVERYDAY.
IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO SAY IT'S YOUR FAULT, BUT IT'S PAINFUL TO FEEL HEARTBROKEN BY YOU.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
BUT I HATE THIS FEELING,
WHY DID I HAVE TO DEVELOP THIS FEELING FOR YOU.
IT FUCKS ME UP .
IT'S EMBARRASING AF.
AND IT'S A DIFFERENT REASON FOR ME TO DISAPPEAR SOMEDAY.
I WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO DO IT FIRST,
SINCE , I'M MOSTLY AFRAID OF YOU DISAPPEARING FROM MY LIFE.
YOU HATE IT WHEN I SAY THAT.
BUT
WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY.
No comments:
Post a Comment